Goodbye vacation, hello real world.

2/25/07

I returned from a week-long vacation on Friday, during which I spent Carnaval (a big Brazilian-style celebration Cape Verde does up big) in Mindelo, São Vicente with a bunch of other PCVs. But before all that, here is what I was leaving the week before I left:
*Zelda had another “episode”, acting aggressive and then jumping out the window. One of the monitoras went after, following her on a wild goose chase to the hospital, and then trying to bring her back. She was in such a fit, the police had to help to bring her back to the Center. Once inside, Zelda grabbed the monitora fiercely by the hair and wouldn’t let go, yanking until the police had to smack her six times on the leg for her to let go, with a handful of the monitora’s hair in the end. The monitora was in hysterics, sobbing fiercely and hardly able to breathe. Once we calmed her down we sent her home. Hopefully she’ll come back.
*We finally held our donations-distributing party to give out the kits I made of the clothes, combs, hair things, etc. that we received from all my family and their colleagues in Washington. I explained where they came from and how to be grateful (only after we had gotten them calmed down enough to hand them out), and encouraged them to find a special way to thank the people who had been kind enough to give of their time and possessions. Here are a few pictures we took of the girls with their things:

*We found out that one of the older girls at the Center led a group of younger girls to skip school and they instead walked around town asking for money, presenting a fake card that said they were having some sort of school party they needed to raise money for. So they went around begging like street children in various zones, traveling pretty far away from the Center. Eventually they saw three young men (in their 20s), one of whom claimed to know one of the girls and invited them to come to his home. They all went in, and the little girls listened to music while one of the older girls (13 years old) went into the kitchen to “get some water”, where the man told her he would give her 500 escudos (about $5) if she would kiss him. This is the story the girls were telling, though we wonder if it was likely more than a kiss he offered up, since more has been done for much less than 500 escudos. He showed the girl pornographic images and films, until she felt uncomfortable and managed to take the younger girls and leave. Absolutely disgusting, I’m appalled by this blatantly troubling situation in which a Cape Verdean man clearly tried to take advantage of one of my girls and teach her that her body is for sale. I wanted to castrate him. Once we get all the girls’ stories straight we are going to go looking for the guy to speak with him about the situation and see if charges need to be pressed. In the scheme of things that take place around the world and in most of the US, this is a small ordeal, we can count our blessings that nothing more happened. But she is one of my girls, someone who has already had a life no one deserves. So I was not happy to hear about it. We still think that there is more to the story, since the girl who led the whole excursion has a notably disturbed sexual development and has been abused in the past, but for now we have to go on what we’ve been told.
*Consequently, the same girl offered money for a kiss was involved in a fight just afterward in the Center—but not with other girls, with a mãe. Unfortunately it’s not uncommon for them to act out aggressively against the girls, but this particular mãe is worse than the rest, consistently claiming she has no problem with hitting children for discipline and often acting like a child, showing no interest in caring for the kids in this Center. This particular fight was physical and she nearly injured the girl. Disciplinary measures are being taken, in addition to the process that has been going for a while to get her removed from her position at the Center.
One of the 14-year-old girls was caught with a cell phone (apparently her boyfriend’s) that had crude pornographic video clips on it. Later that same day, her mãe brought us a notebook found in the girl’s room that was filled (literally crammed full) of pornography—very crude and graphic pictures taken from magazines and the internet. While it may be normal (particularly it seems in Cape Verde) to utilize pornography in stages of sexual curiosity (and seriously I’ve never been in a more sexual culture in my life), the part that is disturbing is that the 8-year-old that shares a room with this girl found the notebook and its images. Things like that can’t be brought into our Center, one that has girls of all ages, tiny to not-so-tiny. Not to mention the fact that most of these girls have unsettling sexual histories and have been abused at least once in their lives. Sexual education needs to be focused on to correct some of the faulty ideas the girls have grown up with.
*To further illustrate this point, one of the girls was reported to be giving “sexual favors” in the community for 200 escudos. We have no more specific information, but have to take it seriously and as yet another sign of the urgency of attention paid to sexuality in the Center.
*And finally, the most disturbing of all the sexual deviancy occurring in the Center, it just came out that for over a year now, several of the girls (mostly older) have been brutally violating the young deaf mute girl, Eunice. They have taken various objects, including a towel, nail file, and a sharp object used to cut paper, and forcefully inserted them into her vagina until she began to bleed. One girl would place a hand over Eunice’s mouth while other girls watched and were offered cookies not to say anything. It made me want to cry when I heard this, because it was forceful and being acted out by the initiative of my girls, the very same who have had heinous things done to themselves. In the past, the girls have been found to act out their sexual curiosities with each other, mutually playing with each other’s sexual parts and their own. This can be seen as an opportunity for education, to explain rather than condemn, because sexual curiosity is normal and shouldn’t necessarily be repressed. But this, this violation, is much different, much worse. They have taken advantage of the one girl who can’t defend herself, who can’t say no and who can’t express her pain, can’t tell anyone what has happened to her. They tried to do it to other girls, who refused and stood up for themselves. But Eunice could say nothing, could hear nothing. It’s all logical, why they would do it, what they wanted to accomplish, but I want to cry every time I see her, knowing but unable to say what she has experienced. And so we have to take steps now to figure out how to respond. Now that I go back to work tomorrow, I will see if anything progressed last week, what I’ve missed, where we’re at. Hard to know where to start.

* * *
So needless to say I was ready for a vacation, though it pained me to tear myself away from the Center, knowing that missing one day means missing a world of events and drama that could easily leave one in the dust, clambering for understanding and comprehension (emotionally and literally with language). I see now why it is difficult—if not impossible—for someone with troubles learning and communicating the language to stay a full two years working with troubled and disadvantaged youth in a developing country. You miss one small thing, one explanation, and you’re lost. If you’re even fortunate enough to have people understanding and patient enough to explain when needed. There’s so much going on every second of every day that not understanding is not only frustrating but makes you feel incapable of really helping. All that to say I was hesitant to leave for vacation.

However, my vacation was very much worth it—I had an excellent time and was able to relax and have lots of fun seeing Volunteers I haven’t seen since we swore in. There were a decent amount of people there in Mindelo: the PCVs from Boavista, one from Maio, most of the PCVs from Santo Antão, of course those from São Vicente, and me. We ate out a ton, had ice cream (oh, glorious ice cream…), made big dinners, ate SALAD (they even had chicken and tuna salad, it was heaven), dressed up in masks, boas, glitter, and gaudy jewelry, went to parties at night, and watched most of the parades. Carnaval in Mindelo, and really all of the islands, is a big series of parades and people walking around in ridiculous and nonsensical costumes, which generally just consist of whatever was drug up from the closet or taken from parents…basically Mindelo looked like a walking Value Village. And apparently it’s super cool for men to all dress up as women and strut around. The concept of masculinity in this culture is beyond my understanding—they ooze testosterone 24 hours a day, making sure their muscles are sculpted, they have at least 3 piquenas, and they display total ownership in virtually every aspect of their lives (not being “a man” is one of the worst sins you could commit) and yet men have no problem holding hands walking down the streets or dressing up as women for Carnaval. Beats me. As a side note, it is also popular to dress up as a “badiu” (more traditional Africans from my island—I speak badiu Criolu) with the skirts, headwraps, and various items carried on the head. This is worn as a costume, to mock, showing the obvious contrast between the lifestyle and manifestation of culture that exists between Mindelo and Santiago, and the attitude held towards more traditional mentalities.

Anyway, I will definitely be trying to include a ton of pictures of the events, which were pretty great. The costumes and floats were very ornate, I was impressed that it was pulled of to the extent it was. It likely took them all year. The funny thing about parades in Cape Verde is that most of the time people are just marching or dancing down the street to drums, but no one is really watching. No one comes to claim a spot to watch the procession, and probably no one really even knows when it starts. Often there seems to be no defined parade route, just people walking around town in costume and having a good time, while no one really watches. The main parade on Tuesday was much more organized, though; this was the big event it seemed. Everyone was in their spots waiting for it to begin, and it seemed to have a pretty definite route. This was the televised one, and the one with the most elaborate costumes and floats, pictures of which are to follow.
These guys were so annoying. They ran around grunting and getting in your face, not to mention getting that black grease stuff all over your clothes. One of them came up and smeared his hand across my face, leaving a grease stain that took forever to wash off. Poo on that. This guy was ridiculous. He came up to us and demanded my water bottle. After I said no, he just grabbed it out of my hands and started drinking and passing it around to his friends. You can see the guy behind him drinking from it. Then he posed and asked me to take a picture of him, not moving until I took it. Hmph. Me, Steve, and Tiffany. Yeah, that's how we roll. Steve is pretty fun.

Overall, I really liked the feel of Mindelo. Though it was a city, it felt nothing like Praia, which is big, dirty, trafficky, and with too many people. Mindelo was much more calm, chill, clean, and European-feeling. There were tons of great restaurants, cute little cafes everywhere, and lots of music and art. It reminded me a lot of Havana, with the same artistic feel, the same multicolored buildings, the same pulsing rhythm that lets you know something lies beneath it all. I couldn’t say it is quite as vibrant as Cuba, nothing really could be (I am biased), but it still felt that way when I was there. I found it a great place to have my vacation, though admittedly I was reminded how glad I am to be on Santiago, how much I like the culture that surrounds me here. Some of the things that are different between the two islands and that I missed:
*Badiu Criolu—I craved it, wanted to speak it, to hear it, to feel its familiarity instead of the choppy northern Criolu I understood less of; even understanding aside, badiu just sounds better to my ears, feels as comfortable as a warm cup of coffee in your hands.
*Constant loud crazy hiaces driving back and forth and yelling “Praia-Praia”—yes this is one of the more annoying aspects of Assomada life, but I missed it. I missed the ajudante leaning out the window and with a wink asking if I’m going to São Domingos or Orgãos (just because I went there once and therefore must live there or plan to go every other day). I missed the eardrum-bursting funana music blasting from the car driving dangerously down the road right towards you. Mindelo just had boring taxis.
*atxupa—I had very little traditional food there, and while I enjoyed every bite of the luxurious food we had at restaurants, I realized it’s nice to have caldo de peixe every once in awhile.
*Gorgeous, dark, badiu Cape Verdeans—I’m starting to realize that my island contains the most beautiful people in the country (if not the world) and the most heartbreakingly handsome men with their dark chocolate skin, softer jawline, piercing eyes, and full lips. Other islands just don’t cut it, so I guess I’m spoiled with the eye candy I get to look at every day.
*Women carrying things on their heads—I guess this could speak to a more traditional mindset in general that exists on Santiago, but I missed seeing the utility of daily work done more efficiently.
*My huge open market—not only do I continually realize that we are really blessed to have such a wide availability of wonderful food because we are in the center of the island and thus a center of commerce (many other islands have virtually no vegetables and very little selection in the way of sustenance), but I just miss having all the women call out to you to buy their chickens. Supermarkets just don’t feel the same.
*Mel—I was very sad that she wasn’t there with us and realized how much I like having her here.
*Friends and familiar faces—it’s always weird going from somewhere where you are known and feel comfortable, to a new place where you’re just another Joe Schmoe on the streets.
*My girls—I actually missed the Center and found myself wondering how things were going, what kind of craziness I was missing out on, what I would be coming back to.

And so I am shown that despite the wonderful feel of vacation, the relaxation and complete calmness I felt, the joy of having a great time with friends, the luxury of a more developed city, and the Baileys I got to enjoy in my coffee one evening, I was ready to welcome Assomada with a big hug. I missed the experiences I have had here, the thickness of the culture and its roots in the ground. I did not, however miss having a housemate and would have appreciated more time to myself when I got back. Oh well, we can’t have it all, right?

One more thing that made my vacation perfect: Casey’s copy of the 2nd season of Grey’s Anatomy. We spent one of our “recovery” days glued to the computer screen, and then Mel and I watched the rest when I got back. 27 blissful episodes of good, dramatic, sappy television that I soaked up like a sponge. I think the best—and worst—part is that the show takes place in Seattle, so every cityscape, every glimpse of the Space Needle, every umbrella pulled out in the downpour, every steaming cup of to-go coffee made me feel cozy at the same time it stabbed me in the heart. I miss home. And so sometimes it’s important to tear yourself away from the computer screen to stop letting yourself dissolve into the former world that you can no longer enjoy because you are enjoying a new reality. Stay in the present. Remember what you’re doing, why you’re here. But it’s hard sometimes.

So I suppose that is what vacation is good for: a brief separation from the stress, from the insanity of day-to-day work that exhausts your heart and mind. Where you’re allowed to forget for one week that anything exists outside of you having fun and relaxing. Selfish, yes, but sometimes being a teeny bit selfish helps us to better serve others. Even though my girls would never have the opportunity to do the wonderful things I got to do, I can come back refreshed to try and make their lives better. So that is what I head off to do. Goodbye vacation, hello real world.